How To End A Toxic Friendship
At some point in our lives, we may have to end a toxic friendship, which is not always easy. But when we realize that some conditions become negative for our well-being, it is best to accept it and distance ourselves.
It often happens that we set up resistance ourselves and avoid ending negative friendships. Sometimes we remain unconsciously close to the wrong people. In this article, we will look at what we should do to move away from those who do not offer us a proper friendship.
The characteristics of a toxic friendship
Below we will review a list of some of the characteristics of a toxic friendship. The idea is that you will be able to recognize these types of behaviors in your everyday life.
That way, you will be able to distinguish between friendships that are worth preserving and those that are not. Let’s get started!
1. Even when they are with you, they are not together with you
A person’s physical presence does not necessarily imply togetherness. Sometimes when we make plans with a group of friends, we can feel lonely.
Toxic friends do not care about our opinions and concerns. They just want you to be with them and accept everything without asking questions.
2. They focus on your mistakes in a condescending way
Friends help us realize what aspects we will need to improve, but negative friendships will focus on our mistakes in a way that is not constructive. That way, they will make us feel bad and will not give us any solutions.
3. They will make you feel questioned
Some people tend to question the behavior of others based on their personal criteria, which is not very empathetic. A true friend will not judge our decisions, but will understand them and express their opinion.
4. They keep you from being in the spotlight
There are friends who demand constant attention, and for some reason they can not cope when the attention is focused on us. People who do not let others be the main character can not be friends. At least they can not be good friends.
5. There is a lack of consistency
Toxic friendships experience a lack of consistency in the things that are said, and it often goes against the actions. For example, there are those people who say they support us in our plans, but at the same time they avoid getting involved in them.
This does not mean that all our friends should be a part of our personal projects, but when there is no connection between speech and actions, the situations become confusing. Ideally, friends should be able to be honest and clearly expressive when they do not want to be part of a plan.
Tips and Ways to End a Toxic Friendship
After reviewing the most common indicators of friendships that do not contribute anything positive, it is time to explore some effective ways to leave them without costing us too much to do so.
1. Learn to set boundaries in a toxic friendship
In order to let go of a friendship that is not worth anything, it is important to know the things that we are not willing to compromise on.
In the sense that when we are able to maintain a firm stand in relation to our ideals and principles, then we will be able to know that it is best to move away from the people who do not correspond to the same criteria.
2. Express yourself in a confident way when you want to end a toxic friendship
Confident communication is an important resource for getting away from bad friendships. When we can communicate our decisions clearly, we feel calm. It’s about not suppressing the need to get away.
Expressing oneself confidently also means putting oneself in the other person’s place and understanding that they may not agree with one’s decision to distance oneself. However, we must stand firm and hold on to that thought. We must be short, precise and respectful when explaining our motive.
Talk to another person before choosing to end a toxic friendship
Before talking to the friend we want to distance ourselves from, it’s a good idea to talk to another person. The goal is to prevent our emotions from getting out of control during the conversation, and everything ends in conflict.
4. Visualize the moment you have the conversation
Visualization is about creating possible scenarios in our minds that are reminiscent of those that might arise during the conversation. In this way, we will be less vulnerable to surprising situations.
When we maintain control in tense situations, we can better get out of them.
5. Respect the other person’s opinions when you want to end a toxic friendship
As we have mentioned, it is likely that the other person will not like the decision we have made. However, we must be confident in our approach.
This does not mean that we should force others to think the way we do. It is important to accept the other person’s point of view.
Can a toxic friendship stop being toxic?
It is not always necessary to distance yourself from these people. Sometimes friendships can be improved. A toxic friendship can stop being toxic as long as both parties involved can respect each other.
You do not have to agree on everything with your friends, but you will have to accept each other’s differences as much as possible.
